# when all we have baby is the desperate illusion of being together mood tone: generally kinda upbeat but with depressing stringy bits lumped together into a heavy 29cent hotdog sure it ain't all bad but dang researcher there's still this outlying feeling of immense timeless sadness and acute poignancy to words / towards life the superdense non reflective frictionless onyx black rectangular monolith stands tall but not proud in the smack middle of primeval swamp on a new thankfully forever to be undiscovered earth like desert planet of the near-future now sentinels of desire guardian of burning lidless hyper interstellar biocosmic neon blue non verbal realty articulation / anti manifestation forward operative mr swanson for bsz big scientist rnd zaibatsu sub project tag: quick blue survey update partial location retro data catacombs level d82 personal: it's so pleasant and warm outside yet so horribly bone suckingly cold in this lousy little rented shoebox zone 1/ in which henry swanson head researcher of imaginary campus play-state big science gets 'the call' them: hi there swanson swanson puts down whatever simple geometric mental toy they're tinkering with and starts to listen intently to the dulcet sounds: er hello hello them: how's it going swanson: fine thanks how's tricks them: there's party around at jonathan santiago's this saturday everyone's invited - are you interested just long enough a pause for swanson to interpret it as 'interested in us' swanson: yeah um that would be great them: cool johnny will probably send you a holovmail with directions swanson: ok cool see you soon them: see you there bye now swanson: er yeah bye they start to sweat as they dislike lame university parties yet like wasting dead campus time at them there's also the matter of all the mates of a friend you hardly know turning up poseurs in designer greige golfing outfits showing off starched pasty pink middlebrow minds talking the biggest amount of vacuous twrc tepid white rectal churn known to humalienity it's all so 'semi disposable swedish elf-assembly furniture' yet one achingly beautiful earth creature will be there too dang what to do - perhaps move effortlessly through such crowds taking no guff so this is what it comes down to again a sense of belonging nowhere coupled with a knotted iron chain slick with black grease sense of the utter senselessness of it all doing nothing much thing is playing fireblu-textured d00m klones in the main biocomputing centre on another saturday evening would be too much to handle right now either way they're doing it - a researcher feeling raw emotions run through system like those cool strange 'big scientists' one hears about in-scene taking mental notes keeping diary of radial social impulses in bones stressed near to cracking yet always with a certain sense of desperate stylistics a unique methodological and epistemological final approach to intense situations at hand always keeping it tied down in what they think is a total heartfelt appreciation of the drab power of the everyday to seemingly enhance cut through and reclaim vague generally useless fighting arenas of the televisual imagination we wanted to embrace ir essence combine essential energies atop the living wooden desk of ir cellular imprisonment vines sprout from the legs knot holes form beautiful twisting neon electric laser jungles of hyperorganic animal sublimity so do they travel to party or what they consult ir anger at the plain fact they already kinda know what they'll feel as soon as they step through the wastey door leading to the party pit isolation alienation anomie estrangement terminal end angxtziety and terminal boredom all of which however are often good friends since they inform one nah mate - stay at home exercise hard get in a healthy meal and an early night; sleep off crushing heartbreak for another 24 lab hours and you'll do fine let those bluffy arts 'sekkoze' second year university students and ikea mothers slosh about in ir own starched grey social playpen stuck in electronic hypermountain super fortress with the niis blues again swanny auto filters the party possibilities **+** we might enjoy ourselves **+** it's better than another quick sink spasm before getting in a kebab and large chips with extra chili sauce **+** there's never anything on bbc 2 except the classic 'arena' opening sequence oh and those awesome metaphysical canadian film board animations **+** the blue-grey ash faced flesh eating video undead might attack (/again) henry on thursday: hmm better start thinking about finishing the washing up henry on friday morning: oh man that extended essay on the sociomedia of boiled ham in ancient london has to be in monday henry on friday evening: yo scarf my son fancy d00mcloning in the main biocomp scarf sighs like an damp wood pigeon: er go on then henry on saturday morning: ah researcher panic stations they scoop up five plates two used mugs thirteen four-cheese and pineapple pizza boxes under the bed and cleans / disposes those dirty suckers collects six pairs of socks four shirts five tshirts three pairs of trousers seven pairs of skids stuffs those stinkyboys into black plastic bags and lugs them to the local palace wash laundry (arch campus wash zoning rivals of 'happy wash' based on the lower north side of campus) fellow researcher of strange imaginary play-state big science dr. orloff krankenwagen is there reading zen tao buddhist comic book void interpretation of the neo mayan codices orloff: alright mate bit early for you isn't it swanson: hey wassup kranks how goes the layabout business orloff: sod off mate we was up at six this morning swanson: had to see your sister got back safely huh orloff: ir lab name was susan actually swason: not the susan actually orloff: yeah parrot green mohawk with toxic roadmarking orange top you know from the advanced theoretical linguini department swanson: how did a radish like you wrangle ir misattentions orloff: raw animal charm innit swanson: mate we can smell your animal charm on its spin cycle orloff: not too much nor too little that's the secrete swanson: you up for little johnny san's party this fine evening it's at ir place orloff: we haven't been invited swanson: so you up to party hearty this evening orloff: yeeight why not so who's going swanson: all the gavreeting sophistos jon knows from ir triple business maths course orloff: sheeeit swanson: got a better plan let us know orloff: d00mkloner deff match and spicy goat kebab avec chips swanson stares and blinks twice: mate look we've got directions in our holovmail be at mine at seven and dress to impress orloff: ok seven - seen swanson: look after our stuff will you we've got our special edition 'davis carrobseed equals kung fu' tshirt in here orloff: cool laters hey if you see gene rahy tell them they owe us 12 picas of wares for a recent blue rotating research cube we pulsed to ir headup swanny goes back to ir dump hoovers it to a bright new pin in case they pull anyone other than themselves they even clean the windows rearranging a few retro musical storage cassettes in order of flavor of the month in no particular order left to right **+** nils petter molvaer solid ether **+** tribe called quest researcher's instinctive travels **+** hun hurr tu throaty aums from the impossibly early bioverse **+** public frenemy's first three albums go hard **+** black sabbath paranoid **+** enobrain another green world / on land **+** mazzy star so tonight we might see **+** beastie boys the in sound from way out **+** klf chill out **+** fsol pulsing sentient superfluid lifeforms **+** kyuss blues for the red sun **+** ry cooder paris texas ost **+** queens of the stone age r **+** yo la tengo we can hear your fnarts bleating as one **+** cvb vs mkr global transmission they've little idea or frame of mainstream subcultural reference regarding the meaning if any of this particular set of choices still they're sure researchers will find ir taste impressive and worthy of intense private social commentary swanson then strides to the local campus gym it's full of meat heads who stare at swanson's scruffy cheng man ching 37-step tai chi chuan fa tshirt and brainlessly guffaw to themselves swanson benches a five pound bar your supposed to attach weights to - they end up benching it for twenty five minutes until ir arms start to vulcanise each breath a snorted warning from a prime silverback mountain gorilla who knows ninjitsu such a sad display impresses nobody but it still hurts good and that's what counts last week this tall arts researcher some rugby playing 'biz' studies moron with a thick neck passes by rubbing climbing chalk in ir meat plate hands glancing swanson's way they spot a stale chinese internal martial arts tshirt and says: some kind of martial arts joker yet standing behind them is fellow researcher scarf ona wire who sports an internal chinese martial arts based skiffle board eight pack any wash day martial mother would be proud of no scarf replies: two internal chinese martial arts jokers researcher one turns around and says 'whatever' yet the stone dense arrogance and bravado in ir ugly dim mug visibly dims thing is everyone nowadays researchers included is such a hardass wannabe jock-hole that when blimp egos clash and bs stares are exchanged there's often a serious ruckus it appears each side has to bluff ir way into a public coma they just won't back down or let it lie - the lie of all male martial bs that is everything invested in ir own paltry image called elf unable to let ir desperate little corner of campus universe know how much they're always hardcore faking it in public coda: susan was rudely left behind at the party swanson had to trudge five miles back to campus in the thin whizzing northern rain and now hates orloff // republic of bob