# opening bar fight in the original road house in which movie enthusiasts from europe feel baffled faintly nauseous and can't help but view themselves as cool metacultural sophisticates by comparison watching citizens positively engaged in how to put it 'natural impulses that obstruct critical thinking' researcher henry swanson: heh that's a good way to put it life treated as ancient holo-tv episodes of jerry springer a show for trashy mah-freedumz maximum all-amurikans as often watched with sick voyeuristic glee by smug middling class jerkweeds leering in as chairs and bottles smash over idiot skulls in what seems an insane children's playhouse twangy toby keith mullet-themed butt kicking backwater dives where darwinian evolution not only appears to have fizzled out but actively sabotaged they then try mentioning all this to a friend across the pond yet are interrupted by someone's amerikan conservative dad this father figurine says not to listen to such woke(tm) blue haired commie socialists cos the average yank inherently knows 'maximum amurika' rules totally and will righteously inform one as much that if someone somehow doesn't think amerika rulez then they'd like to hear why - but they doubt they'd even be able to hear this filthy hippie explain why what with all the kickass music amerika invented playing worldwide that is along with the roar of five engines blasting a manned rocket to the moon which amerika landed on - and so now apparently owns that's right baby just call 1800 usa 1985 *queue sudden screeching midnight canyon cry of an american bald eagle over a heavy metal midnight rooftop cyborg ninja guitar-shred solo* fellow researcher of big science researcher henry swanson: we love that opening movie scene talk about systemic idiocy turned up to eleven - almost as if insanely stupefying 80's amerikan action flicks were themselves primary dis-ease vectors of advanced anti intellectualism in which watching too many of these flicks seems a mental ice bucket challenge that's bad for one's health put it this way if brains were dynamite then some viewers would only own enough to tip ir little red trucker hats at a jaunty cowboy angle all amerikan ignorance / agnotology as a dire existential threat to this entire planet colonel 'is ok' k'tangi quote: there's an ugly amerikan growing inside every big scientist it must be allowed to destroy itself without effort // republic of bob