# never forget the holy ninja commandments in actuality there are several hundred commandments; here are a small selection from those popular with modern ninja 'our chances of beating you on the battlefield with our ancient deadly internal chinese martial arts and this hooky thing are excellent' 'you have aroused the three snakes aiiiieeeee' 'while the arrogant dragon's fire burns hot it will learn to repent my friend' 'good must always win over weirdevil' 'when you must walk - then walk' now quote 'go practice' researcher dr. orloff listens in and quietly scoffs: some of these so-called commandments are ridiculous if not positively bursting with the arbitrary why not something practical like 'always recycle your old jumpers at the local high street charity shop' internet-as-luxury-alternative-lifestyle visionary robert what replies in the latest campus underground e-zine '#file under random': my dear dull orloff those who only ever talk about apparent practicalities and quote 'getting back to the real world' too often display little but intensely limited imagination it makes them sound like capital y capital d your-dad (also known as 'the father figurine') who in ir bottle-nosed ignorance was historically only capable of understanding 'practicalities' whatever shabby undead clockwork simulacrum they refer to as 'the real world' is merely the most synthetic and insubstantial and tawdry cardboard diorama possible however the near-future retro 80s universe of heavily armored lab grown cyborg data-ninja and ir (often self-admittedly bizarre) spiritual-marital beliefs and sayings often positively zing with intense wuxia-flavoured hyperadventure // republic of bob