# eventually after many many weeks the dreaded introduction to the man of the house finally arrives hoo boy both awkwardly shuffle in holding hands with one's fresh fave humalien flatboy sits in its stinking armchair in front of the telly by window looking at simple pictures in the sun 'see spot run flatboy' you both sit bolt upright on the armchair opposite ten miles away nothing but heavy suburban uk sofa silence occurs for several awkward minutes one's fresh sweet love finally says dad this is our new friend henry flatboy slowly lowers ir newspaper looking you up and down like you've just dropped a steaming twirl on ir horrible 70's carpet first thing out of ir slack job however is - a horrible insult they then go right back to ir daily toilet paper you sit there in silent disbelief staring at this grossly overweight weekend biker multiple beer guts hanging over ir sweaty tshirt wishing for a snappy comeback you just about manage to respond with a tepid: charmed i'm sure great henry you showed em soon as you left the room of course you were thinking oh yeah: and what do you look like hagar in tasselled leather pants - disgusting spineless saggy balding easy rider wannabe grease spot mother all this is mere flava after the fact however one's favorite humalien says: they would've liked it if you'd sworn back you say that's nuts but they reply that's just ir way so much for official formal family intros you then both sneak upstairs and pleasure each other instantly feeling better q: how come so there are so many pointlessly aggressive close minded ignorant assholes in endland a: don't know get stuffed q: ah ok mate thanks // republic of bob