# the all plastic action parody of battlefield hardline official press release visceral garmes brings as yet critically unconfirmed storytelling swagger to yet another cops n' criminal male power fantasy / laughably 'tactical fps' blatantly ripped off from some of the most blandly popular and powerfully generic cliche ridden crime drama franchises ever committed straight-to-tv in a stunningly lacklustre single player campaign you'll play the role of token non-white garming character mannequin 'slick' nick mendoza - another young rookie detective with a laughable haircut who embarks on some unbelievable cross-country vendetta seeking tired revenge against once trusted partners on the force in multiplayer you'll hunt criminals when it suits you raid vaults to supplement your own deliberate drug habit - actually that wouldn't be a bad idea - and pretend to save hostages in new cop n' criminal modes like coke heist donut rescue wife swap unpaid overtime union blues corruption whitewash and t-bag express. welcome to your next new copy-pasta'd playground reskin in dlc-h3ll videeo here what's potentially interesting about this cynically tacked on garme mode masquerading as a full garme is the massive disconnect and disparity between the standard-substandard slickness of the cinematic trailer and the futile flavourless milk-and-water garmeplay // video here dig the amusing deadpan commentary voiced by someone (comedian alan davies?) doing ir half best to sound interested around flat purposeless profitless and generally apathetic non-events of extreme conceptually barren unimportance hardline fails the heat test the back robbery shootout scene from michael mann's film heat (1995) is the single best test of a garme's ability to generated the decidedly unromantic industrial grade tension of a sudden true life and death scenario - the sense of immediate overwhelming danger and desperate urgency // video here unlike heat however the 'cool' of battlefield hardline feels shoe-horned in by expert cynics. it somehow all very world-weary and detached - every pixel sprayed with naked hype indeed teh garme appears to be utterly devoid of meaning except for that heavily invested in it by players themselves - a needlessly elaborate and violent role play set in some vast completely abandoned megacity constructed as a mere backdrop for bad po-faced actors to play out ir sterile vain and entirely frivolous roles there's a strong correlation between the synthetic enthusiasm of developers trying to convince players of a garme's allegedly inherent excitement potential - and the astoundingly colourless tepidity of the 2-dimensional content on offer other than the hollow sounds of gunfire / coughing echoing off the concrete nothing's happening in the urban space of hardline whatsoever - a synthetic paradise for plastic drones the true and indeed only crime being committed here is of wasting computing cycles that could otherwise be spent generating better questions for humans to ask - eg. about crime about poverty about the whole idea of money(tm) suggestions for the rescue / improvement of hardline **+** make it $5 or less **+** godzilla attacks downtown **+** badly home-make clown / superhero costumes **+** kane and lynch style 'untrustworthy partners in crime' mode **+** jankily animated npc's - eg. nuns - which clip through pavements and get in your way **+** the constant random unnerving screaming of innocent bystanders from unseen sources // republic of bob