# storium as the gamification of bad digital storytelling the online storytelling garme storium sounds conceptually awful - a failure of online storytelling potential // video here interesting that this youtube video is unlisted - as though unable to willing to commit to its own premise 0:00 slightly before ir's supposed to stephen hood is already smiling. someone's been reading ahead // images here dig the little satisfied wiggle ey does as ey announces himself and ir garme - as though settling in for a little fiction telling of ir own the storium typeface is itc charter bold ot designed by matthew carter - "like a delicate rose grafted onto sturdy rootstock" according to one site. storium however is a little more like an indelicate marketing attempt stuck deep in the manure of bad electronic storytelling the fireplace logo is a problematic sign of 'storium style storytelling' without much meaning - it could even be interpreted as a warning. "this type of gamified storytelling leaves me frozen; i require real narrative heat" 0:11 ah the campfire. apparently the universal symbol of our all-embracing humanness - but here it gives off no detectable heat or light. here the fire merely signifies the presence of just another convenient myth humanity tells itself to feel special unique - in a universe of overwhelming darkness. a darkness at least partially caused by poor ideas like storium 0:15 what a nice sunset - time for a nice story perhaps? not necessarily likely - more likely just a tall tale 0:18 "everybody loves a good story - we've been telling them for thousands of years (..]" depends what you mean by good steve steve then makes the classic mistake of setting out the unquestionable evolution of apes huddling around a fire sharing epic tales of old - to modern crappy movies and then suddenly to what must be the pinnacle of inevitable techno progress - video garmes / storium 0:25 "telling stories is part of what makes us human" - the plan fact this is strictly a marketing pitch a piece of advertorial content - is perhaps precisely an argument for 1) no longer telling stories andor 2) no longer being human - at least as steve / storium defines it 0:28 "but all too often we end up listening to other people's stories when we could be telling our own" - not only does this smell of bad philosophy but storium is marketed as a strictly 'social'® storytelling platform. so even if we buy into steve's suspect dream we're not strictly 'telling our story' 0:45 "storium is a new type of garme" - no it's just another new implementation of old rpg narrative models 0:48 "that's because it turns writing into a garme" wait a sec storium is a new type of garme people might not have played before.. because storium turns writing into a garme? that's bad writing right there 0:54 "w/ just your computer tablet or smart phone (..]" you're not selling me storium steve - you might as well say "w/ just the power of your mind focused through your right index finger into your mouse button.." the idea of "creating imaginary worlds to play in" is not only boring but contains information content zero. it must of impressed somebody though as storium's kickstarter made way over its original funding goal. even that's not saying anything however as nowadays some will throw money at a bowl of potato salad 0:57 the beta page for storium appears. the main story types on view are tragically laughable conservative and incredibly straitjacketing. "but what if i want to make a cyberpunk fantasy classic medical drama slash occult pulp horror space adventure featuring elephant kings on mysterious urban islands. can i do that huh steve?" 1:04 storium uses familiar garmeplay concepts like turns cards points - and obviously gamification // image here: storium story cards 1:15 "now this isn't just an idea - it's real(tm)" - there should be a t-shirt with this ideological slogan on it 1:35 "[..] or even helping them reconnect with old friends." steve 'smiles' unconvincingly. is there no end to the incredible fiction that is storium? 1:38 that woman is back with ir filthy dog who enjoys an early morning crap on the beach. i wonder if steve can smell it over ir ashen fire from where ir's sitting. attentive viewers may certainly smell something from where they are 2:02 "we've got a small but incredibly talented team." the word 'but' is supposed to signify 'humble'. steve it wouldn't matter if it were just you in your mother's basement busy trying to hit home runs for the avant garage like steve 'moses' jobs - often incredible talent / images of keyboard typing is no substitute for good underlying ideas. storium has arguably yet to display anything except a digital smoke fest where easily impressed people with more senseless money may gather to convince themselves of.. whatever storium likes to imagine it is 2:22 steve states ir proud of ir board of advisors / ideational investors: will hindmarch chuck wendig murr lafferty j.c hutchins. who are these storytelling heavyweights - and why is a whole $235,000 needed to unlock the undoubtedly heaven inspired garme world / story seed of one mighty j.c. 'transmedia' hutchins - who is also apparently a founding team member of storium? [caption id="attachment_30145" align="aligncenter" width="656"] dubious narratives: storium team member / stretch goal j.c. hutchins[/caption] here's another quick snatch of hutchins epic storytelling: "saturday sex with sarah was the best john smith decided. it was long sweaty dirty (the sex? -rhd]: nipple nibbles fingernails raking the back and chest - obscene whispers incomplete sentences" - chapter one of 7th son: descent (kindle edition) by j.c hutchins sounds legit. (it seems our long sweaty stories are safe in your strong capable and passionate hands of pure storium j.c!) 2:34 "on a personal note" - don't worry steve it's always personal never business - particularly the amazing way you act it all out apparently steve's been a fan of storytelling and garming (what a convenient combo) since ey was a kid and has spent ir entire career 'building technology' (what like ants or something? cool!) 3:01 the dead body of a woman and ir dead dog finally wash up on the toxic shoreline of the storytelling real // image here comments are disabled for this video of obscene whispers and incomplete sentences. so much for the chance to 'tell your (bad) story' // republic of bob