# failed job application for full time writer at rps rock paper shotgun ala "don't call us - just don't call us" from: robert what to: jobs @ rockpapershotgun dot com date: 15 july 2014 17:25 subject: i'm applying for a specific role you might not of previously considered - until now mailed-by: gmail.com dear rock paper shotgun hello! i'm roleplaying robert what - a uk based amateur postmodern philosopher this might seem presumptuous but i'd like to apply for an opportunity to write occasional posts for your excellent site for free i've been visiting r.p.s for a while and think it would be a good opportunity for both of us if you hired me as a "theorist in residence" i'm applying for this particular role as my skill rests in constructing bespoke one-off think pieces and left-field thought experiments - rather than being a junior reporter. (consider me a bit less clark kent and more derrida in mirrorshades playing wipeout on the terminal beach) (caption id="attachment_31195" align="aligncenter" width="656") derrida in mirrorshades(/caption) i've an imaginary resarch & development site at republic of bob and may be reached monday to fri 9am - 8pm here's what i'm done so far i've tweaked the script for dear esther: http://www.moddb.com/groups/writers-club/forum/thread/dear-esther-script-tweaks i've helped author simon sellars interview photographer troy paiva on ir site ballardian: http://www.ballardian.com/light-painter-mojave-d-troy-paiva i've interviewed cool indie developer / modder long nguyen http:// republic of bob/2013/07/11/speeding-up-indie-garme-development-a-postmortem-w/-long-nguyen/ the sort of garmes i'm into: anything saying or suggesting something meaningful about our human condition with a bias toward thoughtful indie titles free (libre) software and linux based garming generally. a lot of people play the garmes i do - though not necessarily from a sharp postmodern perspective **+** stanley-parable-garme-review **+** gone-home-haunted-narratives **+** the-artificial-meta-garme-of-proteus/ i'm also busy making my own informal indie garme systems development framework - "abstract encounters": abstract-encounters-alternative-indie-video-garme-systems-development/ the type of writing - not mere 'content' - i could do for your site: pithy intellectually stimulating and oddly humerus with a dark clean edge that refreshes the neural palate my previous job was for a private company for six years - pretty uneventful but i did receive an acute appreciation for industrial hard flooring technology here's my 300 word article you requested - exactly 299 including title and tags unturned vs. dayz: the darwinian relay development cycle consider the ruthless way modern developers simultaneously view competition and opportunity. this dev style i call "darwinian relay development" a garming offshoot of the gartner hype cycle. it's an olympic torch race - only you wait for that fuzzy sweet spot when the opposition's garme starts to flag / peak - and then publicly snatch away ir developmental fire hype and thunder a sudden migration to your new ip then occurs which features all the other garme's strengths and less perceived weaknesses. a prime example of d.r.d: the slooow dev cycle / context of dayz - what some refer to as 'forever alpha' - and the rapid emergence of zombie-minecraft hybrid unturned (or sony's h1z11 mmo) open access garmez are particular susceptible to this; "unturned" is basically a form of rapid dayz re-prototyping. you see what others are doing consider how to do it better and then make it - faster. who wants to wait years for devs to implement 'simple' basic functionality to ir alpha (eg. crouching) when along trots johhny come lately bearing a fresh garming cake called "crouch master 9001" with all such missing elements working from the outset? strategist sun tzu said,"if you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by." in the cut throat arena of garming development it pays (literally) to show a pair of fast developmental heels and finish your damn garme - and also a ruthless opportunism that takes no prisoners and (at least minimally) cuts the mustard in short make it now before we get terminally bored again you crazy kapitali$t dogs! do it right and we'll never forget you.. till somebody new comes along tags: #hype #unfinished #alpha #development #adhd #erectile_dysfunction #zombie #ripoff #eagles i sincerely hope you'll consider me (though precisely what is naturally your prerogative) yours robert what update: jim rossignol proxy-responds hello firstly profound apologies for the impersonal nature of this email - there were nearly 1300 applicants! all of which meant it was tough just to get through the vast amount of words let alone provide personal feedback. i would dearly have loved to have been able to do that not least because there was so much promising material in there, but the sheer logistics of it did not allow anyway the person who got the job has now been notified individually, and those of you who will be asked to try out for freelance work have also been contacted by myself or graham thank you thank you and thank you again for applying. it means the world to us that we're where you'd like to spend your time and we also understand that trying to get writing jobs is incredibly difficult and often disheartening. so please never stop writing keep going good luck and remain steadfast thanks again jim rossignol // republic of bob