# call of duty the movie script usefully marked with the hashtag parody - for myfakeface using unfortunates that have undergone permanent irony gland removal // image - call of duty: the movie script opening scene: a beautiful mysterious landscape in the ancient middle east - now a basted moonscape zone of perpetual war business by vat grown hyper-cybernetic 'sponsored.guv' npc-pmc terrorizor drones another long day. zoom in on general kotick - aka - 'king spimple' to the (now dead) locals - slumped atop a throne shaped pile of faeces smeared money casually surveying the glorious damage > general kotick: *phew* - damn this dirty foreign heat. get me the prez! > generic grunthead: of what sir? > general kotick: that's not funny soldier > g.g: right away sire > the prez: what is it now mosick? > kotick: war is hell yo- > the prez: yeah yeah but what are the profits like? > kotick: absolutely astounding. we had to kill the garmes industry in order to save it however > the prez: acceptable losses - if you're on the right side of our better angels eh bob? ha ha!! > kotick: aha-ha yes sir! that sexy green sure smells ripe for smoking! > the prez: i like that armored business suit you're wearing jim. gives more slick 'verticality' to your ongoing franchise necrology right? > kotick: sure does prezzy! > the prez: and don't call me prezzy you cash bloated little piss weasel just than a massive random computer generated explosion rocks the entire scene. instinctively as an ectoparasite kotick dives into the nearest pile of money covering ir pasty wide arts with $100 bills (hence the heavy smell of success) > kotick: quick shoot out the next generic pack of user generated content we shaved off the last dlc to make it appear more worthy! our player whales are getting angry! > g.g: no they're not - they'll play whatever warmed-over hd remake chow we toss ir way. my dog riley is more fussy about what ey eats.. > riley (busy urinating on a garmestop cd): woof!? > kotick: hey can i help it if teh industry is coated in my scepticism pessimism and fear? and get that mutt off my leg! pretending not to hear the soldier looks away in a plain mixture of sadness and disgust booting up ir painstation unvita but (due to recent industry wide changes) finds no content available without a life pass just then a heavily retro-pixellated flagg starts to wave in the smoky morning air. the words "enjoy freedom(tm)" appear on the screen in a really cool looking postmodern font (barely readable due to lens flare abuse) the movie ends and the audience - some neckbeard in an oversized "good to go (repeating lightnin' bolt motif): elite all amerikan(tm) strike force team t-shirt half cheers.. despite not quite ever knowing who or what for pull-back establishing shot - turns out we were on a cheap movie set the whole time king kotick leans back heavily in ir la-z boy director's chair puffing on a cigar ey stole from one of the set's brown skinned cleaners > kotick: meh. it needs a little something. we have to make it 'darker' go back to the roots of the franchise - you know inject a little iconic passion and epic realness. are those walls over there destructable? and where's my gold dust laced coke? nobody on the set replies however - it's entirely empty just like kotick's sightless skull > captain kotick went online > flogging a dead donkey; > ey stuck season passes in ir hat > but said it was it a call o' duty > ~ popular unpopular // republic of bob