# one laugh female dog a one-laugh female dog lives somewhere downstairs in the flat beneath mine it's difficult to pinpoint where exacrtly and when one occasionally and briefly passes wind while taking a large data dump each bleary morning for some reason they'll find this intensely (and endlessly) amusing and from the depths of some miserable corner they'll laugh out loud - but only once one single dumb laugh - like they've just shot themselves with a dart full of 'easily pleased' juice from a dumb-fun pistol what's also baffling is they'll also never once miss an opportunity to laugh when they think it's funny (shirly sheer mathematical probability theory would dictate they don't find rando bs endlessly amusing - but apparently not) and when they laugh (also for some reason) an intense burning laser-like anger rises in my (often painful diabetic) cybernetic samurai guts so as one cleans up and gets out of there to move on with the rest of the grey flat day ahead one suddenly feel like strolling downstairs to casually giant-spanner the cupid stunt - dumber than a wooden clog - the free range rude as they say this would be to politely yet firmly inform them to keep their flocking slavering dog-mouth parts from flapping -to seriously mind their own mothering business one imagines one's unhealthy yet righteous(tm) anger stems from the miserable fact that - it's not just that this lousy non place has zero privacy and the walls are constructed from paper mache and we're all forced to exist in here packed in like stupid sweating sardines - it's that this particular female dog has zero communal sense of common human dignity and cannot simply pretend to ignore the small (stinking) potatoes stuff - just let it go (like i often try hard to) ok fine so i fnart when i shed what the flock - so i admit i'm also stupid and disgusting merely all-too human what the heck do you want from me (should i apologise go downstairs and beg your holy forgiveness before pinching one off) yet you know i know i can perfectly hear your moronic one-laugh dog bark - you do so out loud and entirely wilfully - ok if you're simply a little grossed out and even annoyed at the particular sonic bio-frequencies of my foul flapping morning goatse then sure snigger dismissively _every single time_ - you know _if you really have to_ - but just don't force me to share in the unadorned fact you've got no style and no common human dignity and (worse of all) you don't give a shed about anyone else that isn't you in fact you couldn't care less about the fact i can hear your cruel mocking laughter to the precise degree and weight of my own stinking morning emissions we too are not alike however - i think you're a bully a cheap coward but worst of all a wilfully-ignorant stunt who (every time they laugh with cruelty) needs their empty skull to be held down in the bowl and forced to fish for my happy apples (just like training a dog sometimes you've got to rub their noses in it for them to truly understand consequences do indeed exist for being a brain dead munt) thing is the exact same thing also happens when either of us trying to live upstairs say something (allegedly) privately - maybe something that's a little silly or just plain dumb - no harm meant i mean it's just us here together with the sun the moon and our brief loving exchange and reality is there complete in its emptiness but that's still not enough for this particular female dog not to let out one single laugh again - a single cruel mocking and dismissive bark vomiting forth from a hollow brain that for all intents and porpoises seems full of vile sloshing stinking vomit green conservative algae and again i want to casually jump up and down on them for roughly ten innocent minutes when they do it - you know just casually kick them around their sheddy flat full of novelty bongs unwashed sax toys and pizza boxes (i met players like this at uni and they also made one feel like jebus and the money lenders) keep your cupid stunting mouth shut you cosmic nimrod - let people shed and be cringe in peace (like it isn't hard enough trying to drag oneself through and unending week of work and recent sweltering weather without your flocking unasked-for contribution - so pretty please with sugar on top stfu) weird thing is: they'll also make this quick loud odd sensual sound like once per month - like their handler has suddenly inserted an unlubed italian sausage up their arts or switched on their xxxtra-large plug "urrrrgh" in an unguarded moment of generosity to their pet - and in many ways that's even more hateful and intrusive not only are we subjected to their causual unthinking ignorance but also their ignorant brain undead pleasures ok sure they're sometimes forced to hear our fnart-enhanced releases but that can't be avoided - it's hardly like we're taking time out to stick our wet noses in other people's shed and make it all about ourselves and our unjustifiable sociopathically selfish need for apparently-spontaneous self expression chortle-flocking-chortle (yet if they have to dismissively snort out loud why do they only do it once - could it be because a stranger's daily upstairs habits whatever they are in all their mundane boringness endlessly amuse the stupid - but are only worth a single derisory moronic yaffle) her handler whoever they are is (one strongly suspects) also a son of a female dog and must alas also be quietly destroyed without mercy - kinda like that new forthcoming brutal 80's style cyberpunk fps 'defect' i'm looking forward to playing this is me coming downstairs to tell you how i feel about your shed-brained single-laughter (i want the main growl-voiced character to say a line like "i let out some single innocent morning gas - again you laugh once like the easily-pleased low-wattage clapping seal you are - you get unceremoniously blown in quarters by any number of ultra high-tech near future dysopian high-calibre mega-weaponry. cool")  never mind just rooting out leaking flesh bags of crimbo scum how about the neurally challenged the proudly stupid confidently wrong and brazenly ignorant how (once again and again) i wish i were a billion parsecs from the likes of you - just rich enough to afford a decent private house and a nice comfy well-insulated bathroom of one's own in which i could make all the daily dirty and all-too human noises i wanted - without some pathetic female dog and their ignorant handler downstairs marking off the desperate hours before they can once again assert their social dominance and have a cheap flock-witted chuckle at other people's expense i just bet you were a bit of a bully at school i just bet you never read a book ok maybe just one yeah a red one right in short: grow the flock up the pair of you morons - that is before you're suddenly destroyed in the total ignorant unawareness and style-free desperation of your pathetic and meaningless existences by a high volume arc of sticking fire - "go on laugh at that you miserable worms" ok that was a bit psycho-boy but that's how i roll you insanely vapid shed-brained mothers _fnarts out loud in the general direction of your stupid rope-smoking face in disgust_ // republic of bob