# on hearing the term digital garden all one could think of is a bunch of rich pale skinned hipsters enjoying ir whiteness and pumpkin spiced decaff soy latte foam drinks saying "my dear chap this isn't a mere 'blog' oh teh no it's a *digital garden* dahlink" well ex-cuse me while i strut around your well tended plot bursting with the living overgrowth of unchecked /digital colonial symbolism other than an ecologically destructive force little online has anything to to with the truly organic-chaotic i mean if i was rich pale and privileged then all this would be easy there'd be no steep learning curve for terminally boring techno-jive like 'obsidian' i'd simply tell my temporary assistant to pay some artistic schumck to ask an human artificial intelligence to stick up a site for me complete with content(tm) i've spent two hours so far trying to find how to set up eg navigation without joy i can already feel my existential hackles rising in anger and useless frustration got virtually zero patience for this rich nerdy bs in fact these endless apps and services seem precisely engineered for rich pink technbro nerds as a means to proactively gatekeep everyone else out of ir horrible techno-libertarian web3 utopia forever darkly laughably marketed ideologically as prime examples of 'internet democracy in action' they're all in fact mere mental shackles digital colonialism chaining people to heavy grindset code blocks and the absurdist insanity of productivity / scientific rationalism 'publish dot obsidian dot md/ robertwhat/' what kind of dead backwater site name is that - not exactly going to set 'human ai dogslop google sludge-search' on seo fire guess i'll also have to fork out for a half decent site name as well - only for nobody to perfectly continue not knowing i remotely exist ('matthew effect' anyone) "yo bob stop eating digital frownies and develop a positive mental attitude" yeah well fortunately i've other plans impossibly oldskool memetic internet reaction image 'i don't really care if something good happened to you it should have happened to me instead' oddly resonates with many something in it's psychic background appears self consciously self critical - 'i know it's foolish and mean put down the good fortune of others' yet at the same time the evil of capitalism ideologically demands the poor suffer the tortures of envy(tm) so it can sell you itself as the solution to the problem it alone has caused; are you envious if so simply be more capitalistic and earn more than the other baskets / equally poor artist if one wants this phrase to go up a philosophical gear just try the following: 'i really don't care when something else seemingly good happens in the bright overworld of the pink plastic and pleasant - rather let's build a different society so genuine compassion and solidarity happen to everyone else for a damn change' my old best mate k0de blue from the deep southern uk amiga demoscene crew 'azt3k' could program fluently in low level 68000 machine code at the age of 15 they'd probably have a site up by now that would make that net-surfing scene from johnny mnemonic look like some lame 90s aol retro crap (oh wait teh ironies) i however was born with a plastic spoon up my arts and my maths is awful like many i didn't get into this playstate to become a robotic data drone able to effortlessly process 0/1s for some productivity(tm) app i just want - well i was about to say i just want to make cool art and write bad post cyberpunk sci fi and research my bs projects in peace but really what i want to be is merely rich shameless and stupid - fail upwards via social whiteness without trying effortlessly luxuriate in my own unchecked and utterly unconscious privilege as is my synthetic birthright sit back and demand the world - my world - the one that i own - instantly fall in place in the precise order i set out have noticed recently - ooh for about thirty or so years now - that my delusions (specifically about 'being rich and famous with many cool friends') are so basic mid and heavy handed - so utterly obviously obvious and generic they warp local spacetime realty capitalism got my brain turned all inside out and upside down life often needs a comic strip to express its absurdity but often deserves a naff one like garfield meets doonsbury divided by achewood or a weird online one like ken & andy's rooftop news [botany informal empire and the colonial roots of british gardens](https://journals.openedition.org/rfcb/11532) // republic of bob