# file under you don't know me pal i've a persistent verruca or whatever it is on my right toe this got a bad blister recently and it become swollen - it finally burst three days ago and stinking pus leaked out anyhow i was told by the local podiatry service to call them up if any changes occurred to my feet - so i did the woman who called me up today however started to leave a message on the phone saying to another staff member something like "this idiot never answers ir phone" i went 'ok' and picked up and then they proceeded to give me a raft of condescending shit - saying i'd been called twice by the doctor and had been sent a letter by ir department regarding a check up on my feet as though having a bister burst on my toe *couldn't* have happened had i 'acted immediately in strict accordance with ir instructions' and booked a doctor's appointment first off friendo - i get it it's chrismas eve and nobody wants to be working - but i don't like your tone and you'd better adjust it down a notch when talking to your patients (my poor old dead mother used to get this from nhs doctors of whiteness when i was little; i distinctly remember them basically *shouting* at ir while trying to explain something - and ir being close to tears because back then ir english wasn't so good); i'd like to see you dropped off in downtown manilla in the early 70's pal - and you'd probably still be treated with more respect than you treat others) getting an earful like this immediately started ruining my day - it was as though i alone am the single rotten linchpin responsible for holding up the entire nhs - if only i were to act with more immediate brisk expedition and medical promptness *as i have been so clearly instructed* by my betters in medicine there's nothing like being condescended to by someone half your body weight down the phone in a nice warm office while your already struggling with ongoing ill health; as though all i do all day is precisely nothing - sitting around with an xpox 360 controller up my arts camping in corners on some codblops server full of racist scrub noobs - deliberately and systematically *not* answering my phone which is right next to me on the couch simply because i can't be bothered it's not like everybody on the entire miserable backwater planet isn't already working tirelessly at beyond full-capacity (thought obviously some more than others; my poor mother bless ir heart personally kept the nhs afloat for more than ten thankless grinding years) besides which i just checked all my mail and didn't receive a single letter from ir department regarding my feet - and the fact that the local surgery *never* leave messages - sure they'll ring up if they need to contact someone - but if one doesn't *sprint* to the phone and dive for the receiver they'll hang up after just two or three rings max obvious patient-privacy concerns aside this is precisely because they literally have no time to leave messages; in fact the nhs feels like it hasn't got time to do anything other than act like the faceless anonymous cold-hearted and hopeless inefficient machine it's collapsed into besides which we both work at home and need the phone clear for business calls - and quiet for when my partner has conference calls so - christmas good will and compassion aside - kindly don't give me attitude down the blower for a situation and circumstances almost totally outside my control; like what i'm supposed to believe i could simply 'pull my socks up' and 'do better' do these people actually imagine patients enjoy being ill (one has to wonder) it's not a matter of me 'working harder at getting better' because 'working hard to the point of making oneself ill' has long been the sick default capitalist cultural norm - but rather of changing society so that rude-arts calls to poor people with health issues don't occur **//** foot update luckily got an appointment at the foot place - was seen by two lovely woman that were nothing but patient and kind a horrible short fat man with awful stinking breath suddenly marched in and and repeated what ey said to me down the phone - that i should have made an appointment two weeks ago and that they'd sent a letter ey then condescended one of the female staff attending to my foot saying "that's a wonderful job you're doing there" - like they didn't already know it was a good job because they was the healthcare professional actually doing it ffs elvischrist imagine walking for this guy what a raging roger toger what a mini stink napoleon - acting like it's *ir* company with ir name on the front of the building and on top of the all the nicely headed notepaper later - meeting the ymcc: young mouthy clumps club was walking (hobbling) into town when some little stain on an electric motor scooter coming the other way at around 25mph decided it would be fun(tm) to play old man chicken with me - ir latest bullying victim ey couldn't have been more then 17 wearing a face mask and a hoodie yet decided to try it on with someone wise to ir cruel dumb bs - at the very moment ey would have run straight into me i loudly shouted "watch out duckhead" and ey swerved obviously disappointed by the fact i didn't cower to ir mis-perceived 'power' ey and ir five mates started throwing every insult they could while i calmly walked off not giving a flock and even gave them the collective finger over the shoulder for good measure - well they loved that watch who you're speaking to 'boy' i thought my face like deniro in heat - 'every dog suffers fleas but it's easy enough to scratch' as tim once said i then imagined they'd tried this particular gag on several other old people and pedestrians with shopping and had got a big cheap laugh out of it from ir cadre of fellow morons (say this part in one's best annoyed 'avon from blake seven' voice) - but not today junior i really wasn't in the mood my foot was hurting and it was freezing outside (and i felt generally miserable as sin from having to live in endland) swear some of these little baskets are all but feral - but i then noticed ir nice clothes nice shoes modern electric toys fancy mobile phones and nice clean hair - they're from terminally boring and criminally neglecting upper middle class families whose brainless parents never directly inform little johnny what a monumental shit stain ir's being and not once strongly suggest an immediate correct social attitude course-correction (one conductive to *not* having ir cruel little neck twisted off its axis when ey finds himself on the flock around / find out graph) imagine; a whole new desperate generation of toxic male morons of privileged whiteness (heartless mindless cruelty) - young sociopaths deliberately and systematically ignorant to the feelings of others and with only the barest shit of social responsibility toward helping out ir fellow humans - what a waste of good brains since i was in a foul mood (being an asshole basically) i was also on the verge of telling them one of ir gnome-ugly batshed heroes 'andrew taint' (lol) had recently got ir two remaining brain cells permanently rearranged - but then that would have only inflamed teh situation was i ever that cruel and stupid when young i wonder - no but not through lack of fantasising about it (i wonder does wishing one's horrible cruel mother dye in all manner of sudden and darkly amusing ways say at the hands of a runaway concrete nibbler count as youth-psychotic) never could stand bullies show-offs and brainless jerks as i was bullied mercilessly for three solid years when young (then another ten by my parents but that's another story) but then that's just it isn't it what percentage of the historically bullied make the best kinds of bullies themselves - it's true enough that 'the kids are alright' but they're often bullied by antisocial media into believing all manner of dumb twisted shit - sold down the river by true money-grubbing sociopaths and other casually cruel white demons of wanton ignorance thinking back i should have laughed it off even show-dived theatrically to one side before giving them the thumbs up and saying 'merry xmas' - even have apologised for shouting; there's virtually nobody these naturally kind and sensitive lads can turn to for support and as positive models of simple modern humanity and genuine humane affection in short shout less and care more swanson you idiot - you're rapidly sounding like your brain dead reactionary asshole father figurine // republic of bob