# drama down at the local inconvenience a pleasant enough stroll in the light refreshing rain to buy milk for the day it's been so hot and muggy recently one is glad to be out of one's miserable overheating flat once down at the inconvenience it all immediately starts unravelling the whole cheap dog and pony show in which they can't even get 'aggressively mediocre' right an obnoxious woman dripping in fat is screaming and swearing at the store entrance the otherwise mild yet constantly stressed store manager is holding on to her large bag and refusing to let go the bag itself is erupting fort random store items that have not exactly been purchased but rather picked up at random by the fat lady a veritable cornucopia of wine bottles black bin bags and a tub of ice cream with her free hand she is repeatedly hitting and scratching the store manager as they struggle the fat on the woman jelly wobbles her face a turgid ever shifting rictus of stale meat the words spewing forth from her slack oversized gob would make a 1950's american dockyard worker blush together they are blocking the entrance and preventing free access to the quality goods therein the store manager is by all accounts an idiot as no job is worth the risk to defend the theft of two cheap bottles of wine at some point i was suddenly afraid the fat slag was about to pick up one of the bottles and lamp the manager with it a sudden urge to rush in and help in filled me for a second before i resumed my deadpan observance of these absurd circumstances (namely the criminal theft that is capitalism the criminality it gives birth to and actively encourages) note one should always seek favourable language alternatives that eschew derogatory statements - neutral terms about 'lifestyle choices' that convey criticism without 'veering into implication' the woman in question however was indeed a horrible old fat slag and should have been instantly blown back out of the store via high pressure ceiling mounted water cannons with an electric arc combo for wasting my time she kept screaming "that's mine" and "i need that" referring to the items she'd chosen for her particular five-fat-fingered discount while rapid deployment anti-riot defence tech down at the inconvenience store seems excessive so does repeatedly walloping underpaid store managers who've been repeatedly informed by higher ups to guard the store at all costs repel borders and confront thieves or face dismissal what surprise me however among all this low-key yet disturbing urban violence - what gig economy vlogger 'london eats' terms "kicking off" - is how boring and mundane it felt to me i mean i just stood there and watched the whole dreary stage play run its course without doing or saying anything thankfully youthful vitality won out because the horrible fat woman rapidly gassed out and let go of the bag you could tell the store manager was super annoyed at all this nonsense because he aggressively kicked the wine bottles back into the store before storming back in he even gave me an angry look before marching back in as if to say "thanks for all your help friendo" as with too many things in this so-called life i am a perfectly ph7-neural passive and indifferent observer - with of course a silent postmodern touch of ultra-paranoid low-key dread thrown in to keep it all pc i also (now - too late and long after the fact) notice how the notion of retail theft includes issues concerning criminal justice generally - a complex debate about massive wealth inequality social resource allocation even anti-capitalist resistance in the face of widespread societal decay it's not merely that the gross drunk criminal was gross and drunk but that making disgusting profits while countless thousands are suffering a cost of living crisis puts such petty acts into their correct perspective while shoplifting in itself does not seem a truly effective way to confront capitalism there is always the possibility it gets people challenging their misrelations towards the notion of property perhaps one should also always emphasise irrational elements one shoplifting - the childish thrill the feeling of anarchic wildness provining outlets primary radical emotions as pleasure an impulsive rebellion against unjust authority - the euphoria of disobedience yet whether all this add up to effective anti-capitalist resistance is uncertain // republic of bob